Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Questions I Have About My Knitting

* Do I knit for the finished items or so I can buy more yarn?

* How many shawls can one person truly wear?

* Why is buying yarn so much more fun than buying groceries?

* Why can't I get as excited about eyelash scarves as I do about lace shawls that will take a heart-wrenching amount of time?

* If people own cats and don't knit, what do their cats nap on?

* How many more times until I learn: scratchy yarn = scratchy sweater?

* If those darn story problems in high school math had been about knitting, would I have complained less?

* I've never been attracted to really big men. Was this out of the fear of having to knit them cabled sweaters?

* Is it just a coincidence that my closest friends appreciate hand-knit gifts?

* Would there be less road rage if everyone else knit at stoplights too?

* If knitting is so dang popular, why do strangers keep complimenting me on my lovely crocheting?

* How long can I keep a project in the Project Time-Out Bin before it's destined to never come back out again?

* When someone finally shows up on Oprah sobbing about her fiber addiction, will I get to start funding my yarn habit from our medical savings account?

* Is knitting without first checking gauge my version of "living on the edge?"

* Does calling something "art" really stop it from being a really hideous piece of knitting?

* Why is being around yarn so soothing? Are sheep that calm, or is lanolin an inhalant?

* Is it truly possible to cover up the fact that there has been no actual knitting progress today????????