Monday, October 12, 2009

Yarn IS The Answer, No Matter What The Question

As most of you have probably noticed, America is in a bit of a turmoil right now.  If I were feeling like a rabble-rouser, I'm mention that this is generally what happens when a Democrat is president because the Republicans are sore losers & if they can't fry a man for lack of military service (which becomes a nonissue once there's a Republican president who has no military background) or whether or not he smoked pot in his life (and wouldn't it explain a lot if we discovered that Bush smoked pot WHILE in office?), then they go after him for us being in a war that his predecessor started.  BUT, I'm feeling all warm & fuzzy and bipartisan tonight, so I won't.  I will say that we are having some issues here in the good old USA, and if no one else is going to try to do anything about it, I will.  So, here it is, Toni's PLAN FOR PEACE:

 * Starting tomorrow, for one month everyone in the country is to take up knitting.  They may discuss knitting, ask knitting questions, and tell knitting stories, but they may NOT discuss anything non-knitting related.  I don't know how they're handling it, but the rest of us could really use a break.

*  Everyone is to pick out the yarn of their choice.  There are a few in our midst who should pick out a few different colors--maybe black and brown and white and red--and learn that all of the colors can be great by themselves, but when they're mixed all together they can create something truly magical.

*  Each knitter shall be required to carry a supply of bandages in their knitting bag.  If a knitter accidentally pokes his or herself with a DPN and needs a bandage, the knitter closest to them will kindly provide the injured knitter with one of his or her bandages.  The giver is forbidden to ask if the injured knitter is covered by Blue Cross or Blue Shield.

*  Each knitter shall be required to make an object for someone else and will be prohibited from calling it "socialism."  Each knitter will repeat the phrases "act of kindness," "do unto others," and "golden rule" until they are memorized.

*  Each knitter shall listen to the discussions of the knitting others are doing, and is required to participate in discussions of the types of heel turning, and may ask questions or provide supportive comments.  Yelling "You lie!" or calling another knitter a "Nazi" is prohibited and the offender's knitting will be immediately confiscated and frogged.  While starting over, the knitter is to think about how he or she might have handled the situation differently.

*  There will be one large communal project.  Each knitter will be required to knit exactly 5 stitches on the communal project, no more or no less.  Then the knitter will pass it to the next knitter.  If everyone works together, it will result in a lovely piece of artwork that will later be set on display as a tribute to the spirit of cooperation.  If one knitter refuses to share or do his or her part, it will never be finished and nothing will ever be done.  There will just be angry and frustrated knitters.

*  Each knitter shall try several types of yarn--some natural, some acrylic; some thick, some thin; some expensive, some not expensive.  The knitters will note that there are good and bad characteristics of each, and while they may have favorites or like one better than the others, it does not take away anything from the other yarns or make the other yarns any less wonderful.

*  On their last day, knitters will be shown a display of antique fisherman's sweaters--some with cables, some with more elaborate patterns, some a bit more plain.  They will pay careful attention to the detail, to the twists and turns--some that were even difficult--and how they smooth out when looked at from a few feet back.  They will be told the history of the knitter--how perhaps she might have preferred the u-shaped cable needle instead of a straight, or maybe she was a bit overly fussy with her ribbing, and that maybe she really passionately hated the way the sleeves were working out, or that she really wished she could afford the more expensive yarn her neighbor was using--but that as time has gone on, all of the pettiness and foolishness of the knitter died along with her.  That sleeve problem that she thought was SO important at the time is no longer even noticeable.  Perhaps no one even remembers her name by now.  But the beautiful thing that she created--maybe out of love, out of duty, or out of a sense of responsibility--has endured and maybe leaving behind something of beauty made up for any smallness or meanness in her life.