Tuesday, April 19, 2011

My Personal Knitting Fantasies

*  That just once I find a project that actually takes less time than I think it will

*  That after 100+ hours of knitting, I'll look exactly like the 12-year-old model in the knitting magazine does while wearing the sweater

*  That I can block something without kitty assistance

*  That 5 years from now no one will even remember what the word "errata" means because editors have actually started editing patterns before publishing

*  That if someone publishes a bad or confusing pattern, every knitter who has attempted it gets to line up and give the author one of those top-of-the-head knuckle-thumps that all older siblings learned how to do.

*  That knitting would burn as many calories as cross country skiing

*  To see a yarn label that actually says "Crappy yarn that will pill like crazy and has big freaking knots that we tied using a blender in every single skein"

*  That just once, when someone tells me that they "could never" learn to knit, I have the courage to say, "I'm sure you couldn't, because I am a certified 10th level yarn ninja.'