Saturday, December 19, 2009

Do You Think Santa Is A Knitter?

I've been thinking about this--which probably has a lot to do with the amount of cold medicine I'm taking--but I'm thinking Santa probably isn't a knitter.  I could be wrong, of course, but look at the evidence:

*  Santa has reindeer.  If Santa were a knitter, his sleigh would probably be pulled by a team of alpacas.  After all, what yarn does one ever get from reindeer?

*  Santa gives toys, not sweaters.  A true knitter gives sweaters to any small children that she can, because children's sweaters are small and fun to knit, and are about the only time a knitter can try out bobbles

*  Not a single part of Santa's costume is knitted.  Not to say there aren't knitters who maybe don't wear knitted gloves or sweaters or other specific knitted items, but generally a knitter will wear SOMETHING knitted, if for no other reason than having run out of other people to give them to

*  If Santa were a knitter, I think he'd hand out really splitty yarn or badly-written knitting patterns to bad little boys and girls.  I mean, a lump of coal is fine, but what kind of psychological torture can a hunk of carbon really dish out?

*  If Santa were a knitter, he would NEVER have started putting gifts in stockings as they hung by the fire as he would know this would stretch them out dreadfully.

*  If Santa were a knitter, I wouldn't have had to spend my formative knitting years with nothing but Red Heart yarn to work with.

So I'm thinking it might be time to cut back on the cold medication, don't you????

Finishing Friday

You know it's a bad cold when I don't even feel like knitting.

Thursday night I woke up in the middle of the night to find that the cold I thought I had gotten rid of had returned and brought friends.  When I was still working, I admit that I wouldn't have minded so much--maybe a free day to knit and watch movies, but now it's just a big bother.  I have things to do, parties to attend--I even missed Finishing Friday!  Why is it exactly that we can't cure the common cold?