Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Knitting Gods' Personal Knitting Fantasies for Toni

*  Learn to consistently check gauge.  30+ years of knitting still hasn't taught her this?

*  A bit more dedication.  A day all to herself and her crafting and what does she do?  Sewing.

*  A bit more respect.  We exercise no control over which knitters can pass themselves off as "designers."  Even if well-respected knitting magazines occasionally get hoodwinked into publishing completely insane designs, it has nothing to do with us.  We do promise to consider punishing such designers with plagues of moths, but we reserve all discretionary rights no matter what curses you choose to throw at them.

*  Enough with the darn chemo caps already

*  We respectfully disagree with the Cold Sheep movement you have started.  Until one actually has yarn in every single room in the house, you're not even close to maxing out your stash potential.

*  Stop blaming us when you "know" a pattern so well that you don't have to look it up and end up with outrageous two-heeled socks or sweaters with no armholes.  Exactly who was it that didn't want to take the time to look up a pattern......?