* Announce in a sock knitting forum that kitchenering the toes is passe, and that you prefer to dining room yours.
* Tell everyone that you aren't actually knitting, but doing a lesser-known two-handed method of crochet.
* Email your favorite lace designer and ask if there are any instructions for adding a few pom poms to her most popular shawl design.
* Announce to your local stitch and bitch that you don't really have much of a problem with Second Sock Syndrome, but that third sock really gets to you sometimes.
* When you hear a fellow knitter say, "Oh, I could never do that," agree with her wholeheartedly and suggest that she stick to garter stitch scarves.
* Start a group on Ravelry solely devoted to INCREASING one's yarn stash. Adopt such slogans as "Global Warming affects sheep too," "Sharing is Stupid," and "Get it before someone else does."