So, one of the reasons I have been working on gifts is obviously that Christmas is coming, and in the past one of my favorite parts of the holidays is a girl's Secret Santa exchange. We get assigned names, have two get-togethers where we bring gifts for our person, and then on the second night, the person tries to guess. Many of these ladies are good friends, and I love either making things I think they will like or finding little things to buy them. All fun, right?
A few years ago, one of the ladies had suggested that we try exchanging things we already had. I thought this sounded fine in theory, but when it came down to it, I didn't think it actually worked, and rather than giving someone something that I didn't want, I made gifts for my person because it was someone I really wanted to do something special for. I think most of us shared my view, and we went back to just using the $15 spending limit last year.
The email went out last week to see who wanted to participate, who was interested in hosting, and whether we wanted to do dinner. The person who had suggested the re-gifting thing said "we'd strayed far from" re-gifting in the last couple years and that she'd socialize but couldn't bring herself to participate in the giving or receiving of gifts. While I can understand (and fully support) efforts to minimize "stuff," have the manners to not dump on something you were just invited to do. Seriously--a simple "I'll socialize but count me out on the gift exchange" would have done. Another person did exactly that--all good. Tonight there was ANOTHER response saying another person would only participate in the exchange if the gifts were re-gifting or homemade. Is it just me, or is it really rude to tell someone you'll only participate in something they've invited you to if they do it your way? If you want to set the rules, host your own damn party.
I know--this sort of thing has actually become pretty standard behavior as of late. The two prior holidays on Ravelry, I created a Holiday Basket Dash for the Stashdown group, using holiday songs to come up with TWENTY-SIX different categories. Twenty-six. Last year, I actually received a complaint from one of the members saying there weren't enough choices. TWENTY-SIX CATEGORIES, including one SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO incredibly restrictive as "make your favorite pattern." As I couldn't ever bring myself to say anything other than "make your own damn list then," I never responded. And I don't miss moderating, because from the moment I created the Cold Sheeping thread, I was inundated with requests for exemptions and complaints that this or that shouldn't count against the sheep and on and on and on and on. FOR YEARS. Part of me always wanted to ask "If you didn't like it, why did you join???????????" but of course, I didn't. The main thing was always to have fun and make it a fun place, but stepping away from that has made knitting a more fun place for ME.
Has anyone else been running in to problems like this?