Saturday, February 8, 2014

Something I Never Thought I Would Say......

Yesterday the Ravellenics (and the Olympics) kicked off, and I didn't do anything with either one.  The Olympics part isn't surprising--I never watch sports and haven't watched any of the Olympics in years.  But usually I do participate in the Ravellenics, but I just couldn't get interested.  I thought I would, because while I still needed a little Aleve, my hands were functional.  So functional, in fact, that I was able to shovel snow.  I have to work on my timing, I think.  Since it was the first day in almost 2 months that I could both breathe and not hurt, we celebrated by going out to lunch and running some errands.  So part of it was just not wanting to sit still.  But I think the larger part was that I was feeling very, very frustrated.

For almost 6 years now, I have been a moderator on one of the most active groups on Ravelry, and have led one of the most active (if not THE most active) thread on there--the Cold Sheeping thread--since I started the whole idea 6 years ago.  It's fun, energetic, keeps me focused, and is really the only group I participate in.  For 6 years it has really been my project, and while I also lead other threads, I think I am most closely identified with that thread, and when I'm feeling enormously pleased with myself, I like to think that my personality and effort have at least something to do with the success of it. However, this week I seriously considered resigning.  I never thought I would say that--especially since the thread is so closely aligned with my personality--but this week an issue came up in the thread and without my input or approval, the issue was handled in a way with which I did not agree and found inappropriate.  In the past, I don't remember anyone ever stepping in over the top of a moderator's head to make decisions in that person's thread, and I am still stunned that it happened, and angry.  To be honest, I'm surprised it bothered me that much, and I kept thinking I would get past it or move on, but it takes a lot of time and energy to moderate a busy group, and this is something I've put a lot of effort into, and after 4 days it was still bothering me, so last night I emailed the moderating team to explain how I felt and that we have never in the past stepped into each other's threads, and that I wanted them to leave my threads up to me in the future.

I received two nice responses last night, but this morning the moderator whose people skills have a lot to do with why I don't want my threads open to general moderation responded to me that I need to "chill" and "back off."  Yep, that made it even better.  I'm so glad that my feelings were addressed in such a nice, warm, understanding way and it's so nice to have people who think about the impact of what they say or how they behave toward other people.  Yep, just the sort of response one wants when one has finally expressed how they feel.  Just feeling really thrilled and finding Ravelry just about the last place on the planet I want to hang out right now.

6 comments:

Book Dragon said...

:-(

I'm totally with you on this one and I'm in no way part of it. I have had similar experiences and they are not fun.

just a thought (also based on experience) . . . Before you hit the "I resign" button, just think what will happen to your thread with such an insensitive person left in charge.

Book Dragon said...

grr...

well, wasn't that a slap 'cross the face.

On the happy side, thanks for coming by! I'm a half and half reader. I love print but as I usually keep my books and do not have a magic bookshelf, I'm reading more ebooks.

Nicky said...

Goodness Toni, I fully empathise with how you feel. If that was the response to your concerns and you're also a mod, God help the posters in that group.

I'm one of the participants in your Coldsheeping thread and I love it. I love your personality but most of all I love that you're able to clear up our questions and falls off our sheep without making us feel dumb.

I'm truly sorry that this is something you had to go through.

Mereknits said...

That sounds horrible.
So sorry you are upset.
Meredith

Gaidig said...

I am sorry to hear about that. I am still catching up on the thread, so I am unaware of the incident you are referring to, but I hope that fences can be mended. You keep everyone feeling welcome, on track, and positive.

Toni said...

Thanks. Things have been resolved, and I think they're better. I think the reason I was upset in the first place would be the burn pains and the meds and being sick rather than anything that actually happened. I'm taking a step back from things for a bit until I make sure that my emotions are really my own. Thanks for your thoughts. It's still the place it always was. :)