Bob: With the summer Ravelympics less than two months away, we're here at the Ravelympics training camp for Team Stashdown. Knitletes are preparing for what could be the most grueling Ravelympics we've seen yet.
Ron: How right you are, Bob. The winter Ravelympics follow closely on the heels of the most grueling knitting season: the Christmas sweater smackdown. Knitletes who managed to pound out a cabled men's sweater in the month leading up to Christmas are lean, mean, and hardened, so they're focused and ready for the winter games. The summer games could be a different story.
Bob: That's right, Ron. With summer vacations, hot weather making wool completely unappealing, and the general disgust often experienced by knitters who branch out into the cotton yarn family, summer is often a slow knitting time. And aside from the isolated odd-ball knitter family, there is no general crafting mania building up to Easter or St. Patrick's day to get knitters in shape. It's a much more difficult season for knitletes to stay lean and focused.
Ron: The Team Stashdown training camp kicked off today to ward off cases of Flabby Fingers and Wrist Wobbles. Between now and the start of the games, each team member is to complete six events:
Stretching: blocking one item, the more severely the better. (Lace, of course, being the ultimate fitness test)
Windsprints: one or more items knit in a single day. This one may be difficult because most of our knitletes have only the vaguest of grasps of how much knitting can actually be done in one day.
Bob: Very true, Ron. We may lose some contestants on the windsprints if they attempt scarves or socks or anything too complicated. Luckily, we have a get-well kitty on-hand in case of injuries:
Strength training: frogging an item the knitter will never, ever finish or giving away yarn or other items that will never be used
High jump: trying a new technique or pattern
Core training: Making a favorite go-to pattern that always turns out well
and the final, most difficult challenge of all,
Endurance training: working on ONE project only for 10 days straight--no exceptions
Bob: That last one is, of course, going to be the most difficult challenge for our previous Ravelympic knitlete, Ms. Sutton, don't you think?
Ron: I certainly do, Bob. Between her general inability to focus on a single project and her current struggles with complicated patterns while on pain medication, this may be too much for Ms. Sutton this summer. How is her training going so far?
Bob: Last night before the training began, she pulled a surprise finish of a hat that was completely unexpected until today,
Ron: Of course, the big test will be the endurance one. It looks like Ms. Sutton may be postponing that part of the training until she can be back off the pain medication, which may turn out to be a good strategy.
Bob: On the other hand, of course, if she waits too long, she'll be going into the Ravelympics with just having finished 10 days of project monogamy, and that will probably make it much harder for Ms. Sutton to focus during the actual games. So, the delay could be risky for her.
Ron: Good point. Ms. Sutton has never shown the sort of dedication that 27 days of monogamous knitting would require, so she may have to risk the endurance test earlier in training. Do you think Ms. Sutton has gained any sort of pacing in the 2 years since the last games?
Bob: Ms. "Let's-move-everything-and-paint-the-entire-sewing-room-while-my-back-is-still-healing?" I hardly think so.
Ron: Good point, Bob. Let's hope the get-well kitty sticks close by for the training. I have the feeling Ms. Sutton might need him....
Bob: Until next time, this is Bob and Ron from the Wide World of Wool, bringing you all the latest updates from the Ravelympics 2012 training camp.