Thursday, July 26, 2012

Ravellenic Games - The Pregame Show

Bob:  With the 2012 Ravellenic Games less than 24 hours away, we're here with one of the contestants.  Ms. Sutton, as a previous knitlete, what can you tell us about this year's games?

Toni:  Well, as you know, Bob, there's been some contention with the U.S. Olympic Committee that Americans knitting in something called the "Ravelympics" denigrates U.S. Olympic athletes, while having their uniforms made in China by underpaid workers does not.  In the end, it was decided that since the knitters had no unskilled workers to exploit for profit or sponsorships to sell to fast food and chemical companies, it would be best to rename the knitting games to preserve the purity of the Ravellenic spirit.

Ron:  Has the controversy changed the games at all?

Toni:  Yes--this year we have more than 11,000 knitters worldwide set to denigrate the U.S. athletes, and an event that normally gathers no press coverage has been covered by NPR, the Atlantic Monthly, Business Week, as well as various news sources around the globe, so the knitting games have gained fame, recognition, and an additional 2,000 knitters.   It's unknown whether the controversy picked up 2000 additional supporters for the U.S. Olympic Committee.

Bob:  In the last games--Ravelympics 2010--you competed in the Sweatercross by completing an entire sweater in 17 days.  Will you be attempting a similar event this year?

Toni: I did consider  it, but this:
encouraged me to try WIPS  Wrestling, as well as finding the lid for the WIPs bin.  

Ron: So will you be exclusively wrestling WIPS?

Toni:  No, Ron.  My first event will be the Frogging Trampoline, where this
 will be thrown into the official Ravellenic Frog Pond.  

Bob:  Now this is a new event for you, isn't it?

Toni:  It is, Bob.  Normally I don't like to admit that I am never going to finish a project, but in a mad cleaning frenzy a few years ago, the rest of the yarn for this project was donated to charity, so since I now couldn't finish this baby sweater even if I wanted to, it's a bit easier. 

 Ron:  I imagine it is.  Now you've been doing some serious training for these games, am I correct?

Toni:  You are indeed, Ron.  In addition to the Ravelympics Training Dash, I've been doing physical therapy, stretching and toning,
 and have started a vest in fingering weight on size 1 and 3 needles,
 just to make everything else seem much, much faster. 

Bob:  Impressive.  And what other types of preparation do the games require?  

Toni:   There has been a trip to the library:
 the grocery store:
 and the pharmacy:
Ron:  Are knitletes tested for drug use?

Toni:  Oh, certainly not!   Drug or alcohol use is expected--and positively encouraged when signing up for events.  How else would the Sweater Triathalon, Shawl Sailing, or Afghan Marathon get competitors?  

Bob:  That is a good point.  Stay tuned here to the Wide World of Wool as we bring you continuing coverage of the 2012 Ravellenic games.

2 comments:

RobinH said...

Ah! Now I finally understand why I'm not competing. I don't drink enough!

But I am ready to settle back, watch and cheer for the competitors.

Book Dragon said...

Cheer! Was that loud enough? I love way you are reporting on this! wishing I could knit so I could join everyone.

Wow, 2,000 more? Yea!