Friday, February 12, 2010

Ravelympics 2010 - Pregame Show: The Countdown.....

Bob:  With just hours to go before the torch-lighting for the 2010 Ravelympics, we take a look at some of the last-minute preparations being done by one of the contestants.  Ms. Sutton, thank you for taking time to talk with us this morning.  Tell us, what sorts of things are you doing today?
 
Toni:  Well, Bob, first I did a little dusting.
Bob:  Now I notice you're chosen to use Endust at this point.  Are you mostly a spray-polish duster?

Toni:  Well, generally I'm a "this-is-a-big-freakin'-waste-of-time" sort of duster, but I thought the house might be a bit frightening two weeks from now.

Bob: I see.  I notice you've been accumulating a few things today.  Can you tell us about them?


Toni: Certainly, Bob.  First there's some hand lotion
--always a necessity for any type of knitting marathon, especially here in the drier climates.  And of course a large supply of coffee
 
to help me keep my focus.

Bob:  Now I've noticed some knitters can drink coffee nonstop without impeding their performance.  Are you one of them?

Toni:  Well, Bob, you don't get to this level of competition without some caffeine addiction. However, I do have my limits, so if I start to get the jitters we have a supply of herbal teas on hand
and for when things get really desperate....
 
 Bob:  My, that's a really large bottle of champagne, there...

Toni:  Victory party, Bob.  Or possibly the being-released-from-the-hospital-after-a-complete-nervous-breakdown-party.  These things can go either way.  

Bob:  Now this brings up an interesting point.  Will the Ravelympics participants be drug tested?

Toni:  It's doubtful, Bob, as drugs are often quite necessary to even feel it would be possible to knit an entire sweater in 16 days.  Over at the "Fleece to FO Long Track" tent, where the competitors will be spinning their own yarn AND turning it into a finished object, I'd say some sort of stimulant is almost a certainty.

Bob:  I see.  And what are these other objects in your pile.

Toni:  When knitting for leisure, I can often read a book while knitting, but it slows down my time.  Speed is of the essence here, so I'll need a few things to keep my mind busy while I work.  For more serious moments, 
we have the COMPLETE Jane Austen movie collection--the BBC version, not the "adapted" A & E version--I'm always a purist about these things--and for the lighter moments,
the complete first 3 seasons of "Rocky and Bullwinkle."  There's nothing like a little Sherman and Mr. Peabody to keep one inspired.

Bob:  Now, Ms. Sutton, we understand that you have two cats--is that correct?

Toni:  That is correct. 

Bob  Cute as they may be, cats can often pose a real problem for knitters--how do you plan to handle that?
Toni:  Well, I've taken a few precautions there as well.....
Bob:  Oh, I see.  Well, you certainly have thought of everything.  We certainly wish all the competitors well as they complete their final preparations.  Less than 8 hours to go now....... 

4 comments:

Mereknits said...

Very funny post!!! I am casting on a huge sweater for the Yarn Harlot Knitting Olympics, I don't have a chance of finishing it but at least I can get the bulk of it done. Good luck and happy knitting,
Meredith

tinebeest said...

You do make me laugh, Toni, you really do. I wish I could write a comment that was half as funny as your posts.

I hope you can keep up your entertaining reports of the games and inform us of your progress during this ultra-marathon event. I think we're in for some fun posts :-)

Janet said...

Keep that great sense of humor throughout the ravelympics! Have fun, and looking forward to your witty sense of humor.

SusieH said...

Thanks for Teh Hilarity! Wishing you well as you dive into these Olympics :)